Sunday, July 27, 2014

SpinTunes Round 2 : Another Apology

This challenge, I decided to go a different route.  Though I normally play acoustic folk / folk punk, etc., I thought the topic at hand called for a genre I haven't worked with since the early 2000s... ... pop punk.. ...

The song is based on a relationship I had in 2002 when I was in college in Boston.  My ex-girlfriend, Ali, caused me all kinds of semi-psychological problems long after she was gone from my life, and it was great to finally be able to write a song about the real issue at hand.  You see, Ali, was super sweet, supportive, caring, and kind on the surface...but it wasn't until about 3 months into our relationship, that it became extremely brutal.  She was a typical Boston punk:  Irish, extremely outspoken, and LOVED her alcohol.  

When she would drink, things would take a very dark turn.  She would go from saying "I love you" over and over again on the phone, to screaming at me about every little thing that was wrong with me.  Not only was it completely unprovoked, but she would do this within the same dialogue before I even got a chance to speak.   And she would always turn it on me, as if I was the one who provoked her. My best friend at the time (Jen) would always try to tell me what kind of a person Ali was, but I wouldn't listen to her.  I was too enamored..I was too in love.  The good (in my mind) certainly outweighed the bad tenfold...But things continued to get worse.

She would make plans with me and just not show up.  I'd call her phone, I'd call her sister's phone... Nothing...  At 2-3AM, I would finally get a hold of her drunk out of her mind in someone's dorm room....Usually a guy..  she would tell me that she was just drinking and not doing anything...and she would ALWAYS convince me she was telling the truth.  In the back of my mind, I knew she was lying..but I just wouldn't listen to myself.  I was absolutely in love with this girl.  

Now, while I could regale you with all the horror stories from that relationship (and believe me, there are plenty), I'll save it for my memoirs.  That relationship left me uncaring and untrusting for many many years after.  And while it's finally behind me, Ali will always be the proverbial thorn in my side.

This song recounts that relationship and how her alcoholism related to the way she treated me.  The protagonist in the song (me) repeats "Why do I jump to conclusions?" as she has convinced him that he is falsely accusing her...finally, out of exasperation, he believes her.  He is in love...and there is no way for him to see what kind of a lying, cheating mess she is. He'll just live with the bad, so he can revel in the good when it finally comes along.


Another hurricane, another slammed door
Another flask of whisky washed up on the shore
My eyes can’t rest until the phone rings and I hear your sweet goodnight
But at 2 AM, I write a requiem to us
For which I can’t recite
I worry that it may be closing time
I will not accept your last
Call me before my heart self-destructs
From finding out the truth again

Go on, the bar is calling you
Our plans keep falling through
You slept over a friend’s last night
Which friend? No information
Offer no explanation
No accusation, but it don’t seem right
I know you’d never lie to me
You were with your family
Why do I jump to conclusions?
Another apology

Another dial tone, another stomach flu
Another string of words that could not come from you
You tell me you’ll love me forever and how I make you feel inside
I hear the tab open, and it begins again
Good evening, Mrs. Hyde
“Your band sucks”, “Your music’s too mainstream,”
“You won’t amount to anything,”
“You loser,” “I never loved you”
Then ten minutes later you love me again

Go on, the party’s calling you
Our plans keep “falling through”
What happened to our date last night?
You left me waiting at the train station
Offer no explanation
No invitation to your nonstop flight
 I know you’d never lie to me
You thought that I would be at the party
Why do I jump to conclusions?
Another apology
The struggle’s terrifying, but it’s worth it
If I come home to you everyday
It’s just a phase, you’ll probably get over it
It never used to be this way…

Why do I jump to conclusions?
I just apologize and tune out all your lies….

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